Gillian's cochlear implant
My name is Gillian, I am 45 years old and received my cochlear implant when I was 42. I was born profoundly deaf and this was found out when I was around the age of 1 1/2 years old.
I wore hearing aids from the age of two. My mum taught me how to speak every single day, and I said my first sentence around the age of 4. I coped well with hearing aids, or at least I thought I did, because I didn’t know anything different at the time.
As a child, you can get away with missing a lot of sounds, apart from in school. I had a support teacher there, which helped massively. Growing up in my hometown also made things easier, as everyone knew me and knew that I was deaf. If I missed a sound or got a word wrong, it was never made into an issue, people were simply used to it. As I got older, particularly in my teenage years and then at university, I realised how much easier life had been within that familiar bubble. University life was much more challenging, with new people and environments where that understanding wasn’t already there. Thankfully, lip reading and the confidence I had built with it helped me overcome many obstacles during that time.
Going through the cochlear implant assessment was terrifying. My hearing aids had stopped working for me in my left ear, and I could hear very little with just one hearing aid compared to having two. I was scared of the unknown but it couldn't be any worse than what it was like then for me, hearing nothing! After my initial appointment at Crosshouse, everything started to feel different. Seeing how many patients they had worked with, along with how supportive and knowledgeable the staff were, really put me at ease. They reassured me that I would benefit from a cochlear implant, and that’s when the fear slowly turned into excitement. I started to think about what I might be able to hear and knew it had to be better than what I was hearing at that time.
When my cochlear implant was switched on, it was the weirdest sound ever. My husband and my mum were in the room with me, and my mum sounded completely different from how I had always known her to sound. She was very quiet to me, which felt strange, as she had always had to speak louder for me. My husband, on the other hand, sounded much clearer. It was such a surreal feeling. After some adjustments, we went out into the noisy world, and it became overwhelming but exciting at the same time. I was already hearing things very differently compared to my hearing aids.
The first week was intense. As the hours went on, it honestly felt like I was living inside an 80s video game, with everyone sounding like a Dalek from Doctor Who. My brain was in complete overdrive, trying to process all these new sounds, merge them together, and work out where they were coming from. I threw myself into retraining my brain. I used Spotify constantly, making use of the many playlists created specifically for cochlear implant users. Bluetooth became my best friend, helping me tune into accents, podcasts, and audiobooks, all things I’d never been able to fully access before.
It wasn’t easy. It was exhausting, frustrating, and at times overwhelming. There were moments when I wanted to give up. But I kept reminding myself why I started. This was life-changing. The surgeons at Crosshouse had already done the hardest part, now it was my turn. Every sound I pushed through, every hour I listened, was a step forward. I was building a new way of hearing, and with every day, it got a little clearer, a little easier, and a lot more hopeful.
Now, I’d say it sounds normal now or at least it feels normal to me but honestly, it’s 100 times better than when I wore hearing aids. After about four months, once I’d been through most of my audiology adjustments and found the programme that works best for me, I can genuinely say it has been life-changing.
There are still some sounds I don’t quite pick up, but that’s nothing compared to how things were before. I can socialise confidently in noisy environments, go to gigs (still a bit tricky catching every song, but I get to enjoy the music I do hear), being able to hear in the car now, and I use the phone all the time. I even catch myself trying not to stare at people when they’re talking because I don’t need to rely on lip reading as much anymore 🙂. Not only made a difference to me but to my friends and family too. Cochlear implants truly are one of the most amazing pieces of equipment along with the audiology and scientists that help get the right programme for you!
Getting a cochlear implant is the BEST DECISION I EVER MADE!! Wish had it done earlier but it wasn’t a choice for me then!
Everyone’s journey is different but if you’ve been told that a CI will improve your hearing or give you some hearing - DO IT!! Yes, it’s frightening. It’s unknown. And it can feel overwhelming at times. But with determination, patience, and hard work, it can become one of the most powerful, life-changing decisions you will ever make. The journey doesn’t end with the surgery, that’s just the beginning and every bit of effort you put in truly pays off.
You are not doing it alone. The support at Crosshouse is incredible. The scientists, audiology team, and all the staff make you feel safe, understood, and fully supported throughout the entire process. Knowing that help is always there even something as simple as being able to reach out to them anytime gives you confidence to keep going.
Trust the process. Trust yourself. And take the leap because the life on the other side of it can be louder, clearer, and so much fuller than you ever imagined.